So Truly Grateful

When something comes along and turns your life upside down, something which is stressful, heartbreaking, life changing perhaps, it's easy to be caught up in all the emotions of grief, anger, despair, but if instead you are able to breathe, keep your head high, get support and take help when offered, then chances are, you will get through it and perhaps even come out the other end much stronger.  That's just what has happened to us.

Despite the fact our family went through hell for 18 months (a hell which does not need to be published on line), we have so much to be grateful for.

Firstly, we remained strong as a family unit and have come out the other side even stronger.  Even our extended family bond is stronger.   I'm sure many families who didn't have such a strong bond might nearly have been torn apart going through a similar situation.  We marveled at just how strong and resilient our children were and how they handled the whole situation in a mature manner.

We are super grateful for the support of our massive extended family and so many of our friends, both locally, around the country and even overseas (some of whom knew both parties in our issue) which has been phenomenal and unwavering. It has been amazing the level of support we have had from so many people, even those who heard about it 2^nd and 3^rd hand and still offered support and continue to check in on us. Bless you all!

Grateful for the surprising amount of support from the kids schools. The Intermediate and Colllege were both very supportive in the initial stages of everything, then once both kids were at the college, they certainly went way and beyond anything we could have expected in supporting the kids and us as a family. Funny how things work out, as we had never intended to inform the college of the situation, but our hand was forced by the actions of the other party on day 1 of the school year 2014. The principal, deputy principal, deans and several teachers have been outstanding throughout the entire thing and continue to have an open dialogue with us, as we work through some residual issues, although those are lessening every week and great progress has been made in leaps and bounds.  In fact a total turnaround, almost to the way things were prior to Dec 2008 – according to the counselor, it's because it's all out in the open and is being dealt with – another thing to be grateful for.

The amazing support from Government organisations – these can sometimes be difficult to deal with, but we have had the most amazing experience with 3 government organisations in particular, as well as agencies that work for, or on behalf of them, who have worked with our family. There are some pretty amazing individuals out there.

Whilst the Police didn't get the end result they were aiming for, we were assured that coming forward was the right thing to do, even if only to help prevent someone else going through the same thing. We were told up front that in the justice system, many guilty parties get off, because the defence do not have to prove their innocence, rather the prosecution have to prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt and without forensic evidence, this can often be very hard to do. It was pointed out to us that a verdict of Not Guilty, does not always mean innocent, it just means there was insufficient evidence to prove it. We totally get this and the fact that a member of the other family had to lie on the witness stand (much to my daughter's disgust, who knew otherwise) and didn't even do a very good job of it (according to my husband's dad - who was watching via CCTV and is an ex detective from Auckland CIB, the policeman in charge and the crown lawyer), showed us that they knew the truth as well, That coupled with the fact that 2 complaints from parents of children who went to my kids camp in 2010 came in a few weeks after the final court session, (advising they had just become aware of some inappropriate behaviour by the male leader at camp), confirmed for us everything we already knew to be true! Thankfully the complaints were nothing serious enough to warrant police involvement (and I am hoping it is only those 2 isolated cases), but I still did make mention of it to the Police. I also apologised from a business point of view to the parents, outlined our experience to them and advised them that if they wished to make it a formal complaint, to pop it in writing, so it could be held on file.

Since then, we have received a lovely letter from the Police advising they are now closing the file and moving it to permanent archives, but outlining that they maintain our side of events to be true and accurate and that we should keep the letter for future use, should it be necessary for reference at any point in time. So thankful we had such an amazing detective to work with.

Thankful for the advocate we were assigned after the court case, who worked with us to ensure ongoing support (which has been approved) would be provided and also advised us we would be eligible for compensation. This was absolutely the last thing on our minds as we have never felt monetary compensation makes up for these sorts of things. Definitely not something we would ever have gone seeking, but were advised to pursue it, as the funds could be used however we deemed most appropriate. Again funny how things turn out, as we had tried to refinance our mortgage completely but were unsuccessful due to our low 'on paper' income from self employment, together with a few too many debts we had. The bank however had said yes to a small loan for a new car - presumably so I could keep working?-lol. Anyway, as it now turns out, (despite our feelings towards compensation), we now have the new car, all other debts are paid off and now our mortgage is $150 less per fortnight than it was. It doesn't change what's happened, or make it better, and we still need to be careful with money, but we are in the best financial position we have been in for many years and this has allowed us to relax just a little, start renovations on the house, and purchase some stuff for the kids. We are tremendously thankful for the way things turned out on this front.

So I guess even the darkest of dark clouds can have a silver lining and this situation (although difficult at the time) certainly provided several of them. So, for all of these and more (not mentioned due to their personal nature) we are So Truly Grateful.

The Old Cabinet

This old cabinet has been sitting in my rumpus for what must be 5+ years!  I bought it off Trademe for $50 from memory, with a view to doing it up.  It's half stripped, but the stripping of the inside was going to be a mission, so think I just kept putting it off and putting it off until it just sort of started getting used as is.  

For the past few months, I have been searching Trademe and other sales for a cabinet for the lounge to house our glassware without success, as I haven't found one I like more than what I believe this would look like finished (well not within a price range I can afford anyway).   So, I've started in on it again.  Most of the paint inside is now stripped away and the wood (Rimu) is just lovely.  Just the cracks and joins to go, then a good sand down and a bit of wood filler in some spots and over nail holes, before the finishing begins.

In the process of removing paint, I found a mark inside at the top back panel, with the makers initials and the date '1928', so wrapped I really do have a lovely old piece of furniture to restore.  It came partially disassembled, so had various bits and pieces in the drawer.  I still have 2 pieces that I can't work out any possible location for, but that may come to light the further I work on it.

I have to go and try and find appropriate hardware for the hinges and latches to the doors and a drawer handle that fit with the age of this piece and then some glass for the front panel and the doors.  Can't wait to see what it looks like finished.

Will post photos as it comes along.

Not Much Blogging

So as you would have seen, not much blogging went on here in 2013.  Despite us thinking it was going to be a great year for our family, for the better part, it was not.  Both financial issues and some pretty serious personal situations arose, none of which needed to be shared publicly, so I didn't really post anything.

Bit sad really seeing as we did have a few amazing things happen at the beginning of the year, when Taryn went to the US for the World Robotics Championships is California.  This was followed very quickly by an all expenses paid trip to China!  She had a blast.

We however, were at home dealing with one of the issues and so blogging was not high priority.  I hope to get around to posting at least some of the photos and info from her trips, but if not, it will at least get into the scrapbooks.

We are still dealing with one or two of the more personal/private issues and we know it will all get a lot worse before it gets better, so not presently expecting to do much blogging in 2014, but in the background we will be working hard to sort our issues and move on.  This brings me to my word for 2014: 'RESTORE'  It covers so many different aspects of what we will need to go through this year - healing, mending, repairing, etc, etc so it was a good fit.

On that note, I am looking forward to a much better 2014 and although we know there is a fair bit of hard work ahead of us for the first half of this year, we know it will all be worth it and hopefully in the second half of this year we will reap the rewards from our efforts.

I wish you all the very best of everything for 2014!

The Office - What a difference a day makes!

Well when I say a day, I mean a few hours a day for just over week, totalling about a full day!

Poor office - it always ends up with the bits and pieces that have no where else to go, is always last on the list for a de-clutter (for that very reason)  and it is always the first place to start getting messy again after a big clean up.

I de-cluttered the office back in March 2011, but it didn't take long for it to start gaining stuff again and by January this year, it was to the point you could hardly get in there without tripping over something.  It was so hard to find anything and certainly not I place I wanted to sit and work in, so monthly financials were left till year end-arghhh.

I knew there was loads of stuff in there that needed to either go to the dump or be re-homed and knew I just had to get it back under control.  This time I was ruthless and by the time I had finished (2 boxes of paper based recycling, 4 large banana boxes of goods to the Op Shop, 3 large bags of rubbish and 1 large basket of stuff waiting to be re-homed later), it was even clearer than when I did it in March 2011.

It feels so good to have such a nice space to work again.  Might even blog a little more frequently now?

Anyway, here are the before and after pics (don't fall off your chair Glenna!!!)

God, what a mess!

Now you can see why it was hard to work at this desk!

Is that the floor I see? (Glenna, don't fall off your chair!)

Way more floor space and the blue stacking baskets on the left of the photo will soon be gone also, once the goods in there are either sold on TradeMe, or re-homed too.

I look forward to working at this clean and organised desk.

Now I guess it's time to move onto the next room.  Perhaps the studio.

Lots of Improvement

Ok, so I haven't posted for quite a while, because there has been so much going on in our household, but during it all, there have been lots of improvements made in many different areas.

Over the next few weeks, I'll try and post some of the stuff that has happened, but I won't get around to it all and it probably wont be all nicely in order either.  One of the things I have improved is family time and so some things have to give a little!

Anyway onto the posting....

My Word for 2013

It took me right till January 1st to finalise my word for this year.  I went through quite a few to find one that encompassed all I wanted to achieve in 2013.

There are things I want to change, fix, make better, develop, cultivate, increase, revamp and so many others that come to mind, that it was hard to cover it with one word.  I had thought of Action at first, but some of the things on my list actually involve a little less action on my part, so wasn't sure that it was such a good fit.

Finally I sat and looked at my list and asked myself what it was all the things I wanted to do really meant and it came down simply to improving my life - in every aspect, hence the word Improve for 2013.

My goal for this year is simple (although my list looks anything but simple):

Do 1 thing every day that improves my life (or that of my family, friends or environment).  It can be as small as making a regular family meal a little healthier, right through to doing a major outstanding renovation project on the house, but as long as it is 1 thing every day, then the only way is up!

Do you have a word or verse for yourself for 2013?

Long time no write!

So, it's been a while!  Shortly after my last post, life got a little crazy for a while there and I am only just catching up.  So here's a snippet of what's been happening around here.

September -Art auction at the school.  An event I started when I first joined the committee and have been part of 3 times now.  It's full on, but well worth it financially for the school.  It all but consumed a heap of  August!

Mid September - right after my last post from memory - I went for a routine breast screening mammogram. I was called back in as they could see a mass in my left breast that could not be explained. (I had previously -1990- had a small lump removed from my right breast, so wasn't too worried).  Went back in for an ultrasound at which point the doctor advised he could see a tumour in my left breast and wanted to do an immediate biopsy.  Seven tissue samples were taken and then it was waiting 1 week for the results.  Benign was the most wonderful word I heard when the nurse rang me with the results!

Beginning of October was Kids Camp, followed directly by Scrapbook Retreat and some manic school holidays, trying to work at the same time as ensuring the kids had a great holiday and didn't kill eachother!  Mid October repainted the bathroom - a week of full on prep work, filling holes, sanding, washing, sanding again.  The first coat of the new colour was so awful I nearly cried.  Was supposed to be warm neutral tan colour, but on the walls it looked PINK!  back to square 1.  I bought new pain and started again.  Here is a photo of the bathroom with 1 coat of the first paint (above shower) and 1 coat of the new pain on the left-hand wall - such a difference.  I will get around to a photo of the entire bathroom once all the new fittings are in place.

Late October, sports prizegiving for Taryn who received Most Valuable Player award for her team and was awarded and Honours certificate for her rep cricket in North Harbour U15 girls Rep team.

November - Swap Frock event at school.  Taryn turned 15 and I made her a cricket ball (well half a ball) cake, which we took to cricket for her team to enjoy.

 Then there was Taryn's U15 tournament, for 3 weekends in a row, plus on the final weekend, she played on the Monday as well.  heaps of baking, with my favourite being the 'Harbour' cricket ball biscuits, which were thoroughly enjoyed by all.

 December saw Jayden go to his graduation dinner/dance, (which he nearly didn't get to go to because of behavioural issues he was having at school through October & November).

 Then there was the Asia pacific robotics competition for Taryn.  It was HUGE.  never seen so many teams in one place, but I guess it is even bigger in the states.  They didn't make it into the finals, but had a great time anyway.  Nationals at the beginning of 2013 is their last chance to gain a place at the Worlds in USA, so here's hoping for them they can achieve what is required.

Camp Maynard Christmas BBQ, where Jayden was awarded a certificate for his ongoing work at Camp Maynard working bees - nominated by Charlie and present by John.  Then Wayne Philip - Mahurangi Zone Leader announced that I would be taking over as chairperson for the committee.

Taryn's academic prize-giving saw her graduate year 10 with merit and gain an honours certificate in Science and  Music.

 Graduation assembly on the 2nd to last day of school.  Can't believe he has grown up so fast and is off to Intermediate!

 His wonderful teacher Sophia Jalil who worked so hard with him and had the patience of a saint in dealing with some of the stuff he presented.

 Another huge impact on his schooling life at Manuka - Chris Barclay.  It's so sad that there are so few male teachers in our education system now.  They desperately need more!

Mid December - straight into Kids Camp, this time a 3 day camp the first day of school holidays.  Was an excellent camp, but being 3 days and 2 overnight stays, was pretty full one, so came home very tired.

In between all of that, Mike fell from a ladder whilst trimming a hedge.  The 'still going' hedge trimmer landed on his face, puncturing through to the muscle and requiring 3 stitches and also leaving a light slice line from the top of his cheek through to his lips.  Luckily he was wearing his safety work glasses and avoided any injury to his eyes. He also broke his right collar bone and took the skin off the elbow, which quickly became infected and required a course of antibiotics and regular dressing changes for the better part of 3 weeks.  Always right before Christmas, but at least it has been 7 years since his last good injury!  I told him he must have gotten the 7 year itch!

So, that along with all the usual stuff and some stuff I haven't mentioned or didn't photograph to help remind me is what the last few months of 2012 were like for us.

We are now looking forward to a much brighter 2013!