Week 9

Really not a lot to rave about this week - seriously - 100gms!!!  Yes it's still a loss, but it could have been so much better. I reverted back to some old style actions and thinking this week and it wasn't good.

• One night I was preparing dinner and was hungry, but instead of going to my trusty WW jelly or having some beetroot, I nibbled away on the grated cheese (then had to grate more for the dinner itself).  
• I made chocolate brownie and was determined not to have a slice of it, but licking the spoon, then eating the crumbs from around the edge - almost the same as a slice.  
• Didn't plan well for a late night out and ended up eating just about everything in sight and nothing really on my list of foods I should be eating.
• Served up one of my favourite foods and served myself a pre-diet sized portion.  Was full half way through, but kept eating.
• Gave in to my son's desire for Burger King, which was fine, but had it myself, which I haven't done in 8 weeks previous.  Okay, so I could have had the junior burger and a coke zero and salad later if needed, but automatically ordered (and ate) a meal with chips and a vanilla shake - all small, but still!!!
• Putting away the grocery shopping - nibbled on this and that, mainly broken biscuits, trying the new crackers, strawberries etc and then sat down for lunch, when I had in fact probably just had enough for a meal!

So one of those things in itself would not have been too bad - but all of them - in one week - not so good.  Other than the timing (I see I struggled around this time last month), I have no reason as to why I was just so off track this week.  I know I'll have days like that on this journey, but wasn't expecting an entire week of it.  So, to start off this week, I just reminded myself why I am doing this:

• Improve my overall health - especially lower my cholesterol (and this was reinforced when dad had his heart attack a couple weeks after I started to lose weight)
• Improve my fitness - I'd love to get back into some kind of sports, or even just be able to run around with the kids again, without getting totally out of breath, red in the face and dripping with sweat after 5 minutes.
• Look better - I'm sick of the baggy hide my belly & butt clothes and long to get back into firstly; clothes I bought around my 40th when I was 20kgs lighter, then secondly; a size or two smaller again.  I'm not aiming to be a size 10 or anything, just reach a comfortable, healthy weight that I can easily maintain.
• Wear a swimsuit and go swimming!  Currently, I wont go to the pools or to the beach in summer.  It's too damn hot and I wont wear a swimsuit or go swimming, so no point going to just sit there and sweat and I miss it and so do the kids, as they keep asking me to go with them.
• Photographs - I am always behind the camera and that is in part because I'm the one with the camera, but also a huge part of it is that I hate my photo being taken as I hate seeing photographs of me at this size.  Problem is though, I'm scrapbooking my family's story and I'm not represented in the photos!  
• Happiness - plain and simple, I am a happier person when I am smaller.  I'm more lively,more easy going, do more and am just plain happier with myself and my life - just ask my husband - he knows.

So, I'm back to looking at where I want to be and the goals I originally set:

1. 7kgs by October Scrapbook Retreat - Achieved - yay!
2. 15kgs by Christmas - 11.7 gone already, so 3.3 to go in 7 weeks and as long as I get back on track, I'm confidant that I can do it.  Then the final goal was:
3. 30 kgs by my next birthday (July).  It's 35 weeks away, so that makes it 18.3kgs in 35 weeks, which should be achievable, but I'll focus on the Christmas goal first, then perhaps set an interim goal in between to break it down a bit.  Sometimes we set our goals too far out and they seem too huge to reach, so we give up, so interim goals are the way to go I believe.

Well that's it for this week - a loss, even though small, but one which could have been better, but onwards and upwards right?  Here's to a better week.