Old friends and memories

I've posted a bit recently on friendships and lately I have found myself (mainly through Facebook) reconnecting with friends from years gone by. Whilst it is only online and I am still to meet some of them face to face (and with others this is not likely due to being in different countries), I am amazed at the clarity of memories that suddenly stream to the surface when you start thinking so much about that particular person.

It's interesting to see what people have been up to and see where they currently are. There have certainly been some surprises. I have found 1 friend who had sworn off ever having children and along with her husband had decided to proceed in other directions. She has since divorced, found a new man and is now a mum! Upon asking her about it, she said it just felt right with this new man and perhaps originally (in her first marriage), she just wasn't with the right person after all.

In some cases (whilst I am happy in life at present), it has made me yearn for the days gone by, especially some of those carefree teen and early 20's years. Life seemed so good back then. I can sit back know and fully understand that saying "If I knew then, what I know now". For sure my life would be a whole lot different. Not sure if that would be a good thing or not, because I truly believe it is all our life experiences that make us who we are and so my life would be different, but then I guess I would be too right?

So I took some time out for myself and thought back over my life. I've actually had a pretty damn good life. I have way, way more happy memories than sad ones and now as a parent myself, I can clearly see why my parents did some of the things they did (because they loved me and wanted to keep me safe) and I understand this so well, because I'm now doing some of them with my own children. I've made some really good decisions in life that have been very fruitful and placed me where I am today. And, Yes I made some mistakes along the way. A couple of really big ones where the regret of my actions sort of stayed with me all this time. I've now realised that as per the above, I am who I am because of those mistakes and so I need to just get over or past them now and keep moving forward, leaving them way in the past where they belong.

That in mind, I've decided to work more towards what I really want in life. I'm going to do a little less for others (as I've mentioned before) and start focusing more on my immediately family and creating more happy memories with and for them. This in itself has made me think deeply about how I am with certain things and what I am and am not happy with. Some tough discussions will no doubt follow - nothing serious, but I'm just not happy to settle for anything less than what it will take to get me (and my family) to where I want to be. So watch this space!