A little Inspiration

Mike and I were lucky enough to go to an opening night art exhibition last night at La Premiere Lounge, Sylvia Park, to view the absolutely inspirational work of Dave Sotogi.

Many of his paintings were in colours and tones that would suit our decor beautifully and I fell in lovely with one in particular. Our financial situation being what it is however, there was never a chance of coming away with one of those gorgeous masterpieces. Deep blood reds against neutral tones really stood out. There was one of a Maori chief and it was exquisite. The lines and the tattoos on his face seemed to lean out of the painting at you with a depth that would normally only be seen in a crystal clear, larger than life photograph.

I was astounded at his ability to paint portraits, landscapes and nature all so beautifully. I have seen many artists paint on type very well, but he seems able to do it all. Most definitely a very talented painter and if you ever get the opportunity to see his work, I highly recommend doing so.

There were also some ceramic lamps and vases on display (on loan) and these caught my eye. They were pierced pieces with the holes forming intricate patterns and they certainly gave me some well needed inspiration to get back into the studio and hand build some ceramic pieces, play with some clay and get designing some new pieces of my own. Of course with the school holidays and camp upon us, that will all have to wait a couple of weeks, but I am definitely inspired to reconnect to my creative side with ceramics.

A little indulgence!

I'd had a heap of stuff going on over the past few weeks, so on Friday, when it came to 6pm and the end of the 40th anniversary celebrations at school, I decided tonight was the night for a little indulgence. We went over to Janine's for birthday drinks. I told Mike that I only wanted to stay for about an hour, have a drink with her and come home, as I was stuffed. However, Jeni was there and that always spells trouble for me! I ended up indulging a little more than I had planned, but it was all good. As midnight approached, Mike let me know it was time to go and my bottle of wine was empty anyway, so we headed home. I pretty much went straight to bed!

Saturday morning I slept in till 9.30am. It was bliss. We had a slow easy morning, followed by Jayden's Rugby prize giving in the afternoon. Saturday night I indulged again, this time in a deep, hot, bath, with a dash of Radox muscle soak which produced masses of bubbles. Glorious!

This morning, another wonderful sleep in till 9am (bless those Darlings for sleeping in till 9!!!) So I have unwound, relaxed, soaked away the stress that being so busy had created and now look forward to a nice family afternoon and will be ready to face the new week with renewed zest tomorrow morning!

I can highly recommend a little indulgence every now and then. It really does do wonders for your soul!

Hand Sitting Practice

I've had a lot on my plate over the past few weeks and this week and next week aren't going to be any better, with loads of work to do for school, for the camp, at home, for Plunket and preparing for ScrapCamp. So when I went to my last meeting, I decided it was time to put my hand sitting into practice. As required items were read out, I resisted the temptation to put my hand up and offer to do it. Instead I took the opportunity to really think about what was being asked and consider whether or not I actually had the time to do it. There was a bit of silence for almost a minute, but then, someone else put their hand up. Wow, waiting a bit longer actually gives others the opportunity to come forward. Next item took a little bit longer again, but same thing. The third item wasn't quite as easy, but in the end, it was mentioned that we could just buy in what was required at a very reasonable price, seeing as everyone really had enough jobs each. Everyone agreed. Next item someone offered to do straight away (that's what I would normally have done). So, at the end of the meeting I hadn't put my hand up to do a single solitary thing and you know what happened - nothing! I left the meeting with the same list of jobs to do as I went in with, knowing that I would not have the extra stress of more jobs and that I was actually already doing enough and that others will offer if you give them sufficient time to do so and the world doesn't end if you decide that you are not going to take on anything more at the moment.

So that's one down and many to go, but I am determined to continue practicing hand sitting, thinking ahead before offering additional help, knowing that it will actually all be OK!

Mother & Son Day

On Saturday, Mike had planned to take the kids to the rugby. It was cold and wet outside and there was no way I was going to be going to the rugby in that weather. I also had Paula's birthday drinks/party in Papakura, so wanted to head off while it was still light as I hadn't been there before. Jayden decided he really didn't want to go to the rugby either and wanted to stay home with me. Initially Mike said No, but when I saw that he really didn't want to go, I explained that I had quite a few things to do and was going out to Paula's that afternoon and so as long as he understood that and could keep himself occupied at home for a while and was happy to go to Paula's with me if dad didn't come home in time, then he could stay home with me. Yeah!!! was his reaction.

Before Mike and Taryn left for the rugby, I started getting stuck into all the things I needed to do. By the time they left, I was ahead of myself and so when Jayden asked me if we could lie on the couch and watch a bit of TV I said "sure". It was one of the nicest cuddles I'd had with him in a long time. We lay there for nearly an hour and I couldn't even tell you what was on the TV, I wasn't really paying attention. I was thinking more about how nice it was that at 8 he was still happy to snuggle up on the couch with me and chill out. I was also enjoying a bit of the sometimes rare calm and quiet Jayden, which you don't often get with ADHD children. Of course the hour didn't go by without him trying to tickle me once or twice and push me off the couch, but for the most of it, it was just nice and relaxing being there with him.

When I heard the washing machine beep, sounding the end of the load, I resumed my housework activities and shortly afterwards, we left for Paula's house. I told Jayden where we were going and the name of the turnoff we were looking for. All along the way, he started pointing out different off ramps, saying that one leads to where the Easter Show is, that one leads to the hospital Taryn went to, that one leads to Aunt Lynne's etc. I was amazed at his memory, as many of the places we have been only once or twice. He then saw the Papakura exit sign and promptly told me we needed to turn off at the next exit. When we arrived, Jayden helped Paula and I carry a few things outside to set up the tables, but then found he was a little bored, until Kurt (Paula's stepson) set up the Playstation for him. We don't have a Playstation or XBox at home, so it's always a treat when he gets to have a go on someone else's and in this case, all to himself. I checked on him several times, but he was just happy playing away, not even wanting dinner (although he did come out quite quickly for pudding!!!).

Around 9pm, we headed home and he chatted all the way and told me he'd had a great day just the two of us and asked if we could have another Mother and Son day soon. How nice was that. No-one was home when we got home, so we changed for bed, read some stories and then he drifted off to sleep and I finished off a few bits and pieces before Taryn and Mike came home just after 10pm. What a great day all round and yes I will most definitely do it again real soon.

Sitting On My Hands

I've learnt that I need to do a lot more of this. This may sound kind of selfish, but I have realised that I need to start doing more for myself and less for others. Actually I have known this for a long time, but this past week has made it really sink in.

Too often I will put my hand up to help or do something and then find I am stretched for time to complete the stuff I need to do for myself, so my own stuff - which in fact can sometimes be related to the business, or just making the time for my family and friends -goes on the back burner.

So, I'm not suddenly going to stop helping others, but I am going to actively let others take their turn. I'm going to sit on my hands in meetings and give others a fair chance to make their contribution. I'm going to learn to delegate better. I'm going to think things through thoroughly, considering all items I already have on my plate before offering my services to others. Most of all, I'm just going to try and make my own family, business and friends my priority above those of others, so that what I do give out to others can be given freely, without guilt and without stretching myself.

That's the plan anyway - I'll keep you posted. Right now however, I'm off to print off 700 photos for the books I'm making for the school's 40th anniversary celebrations next week.

My Friendships

The previous post, along with some SARK books I have been reading lately got me thinking about some of my friendships.

Two of my best childhood friends moved overseas. One I kept in contact with continually and though we have only seen each other 3 or 4 times in what must be the last near 20 years (god am I really that old), we can pick up the phone and it is always just like yesterday. I do miss her terribly and wish I had the money to go see her, but Perth is one of those places that seems way more expensive than anywhere else to get to and so I've only ever managed 1 visit to her. The other friend, I lost contact with for approximately 10 years and just reconnected 4 years ago. After several months of talking on the phone, I went and surprised her in Brisbane, not knowing what our friendship would really be like. She looked a little different, having grown her hair long and of course had grown up, married and had children, as had I. We sat and talked for a while, then all of a sudden I looked at her and said 'Oh there you are'. The old person had sort of just come back to me. We laughed, we cried and my time with her was all too short. I also miss her terribly. Her Mother (who was friends with my mother - we were neighbours), recently passed away and I felt loads of pain, for the loss of a very special lady, for my friend and for not being able to be there for her in person.

It all got me thinking about how despite the miles apart, the fact I had lost contact with one of them at one stage and the fact that sometimes we may get so caught up in our own lives that we might not speak for a couple of months, we managed to remain such good friends. Certainly I have or have had friends that live just around the corner and time apart has meant a weakening in the friendship. I also have friends here who fit into the above category of remaining friends despite a lack of contact and pondered what the difference is between the two types of groups. My conclusion - the difference is expectations!

Those friendships that have remained strongest, were ones where there was no set or hidden expectations. There was no rule for the amount of contact, or time between contact or any form of keeping score on who phoned who last (which believe it or not, 1 of my friendships died a slow natural death of, because it had apparently been my turn to call her for way too long???)

SARK puts it nicely too, when she says, that "no 1 friend can be everything". Different friends bring different things, have different needs etc and so we need lots of different friends to fulfill all our needs. She also talks about the fact that sometimes friendship do die and it can be sad, but that just really makes room for something else to grow in the friendship garden - what a nice way to put it.

So, that said, I openly admit to the fact that I often get caught up in my own life and what's going on with me, to the point that I have neglected friendships or failed to put in sufficient effort to strengthen a friendship and I am aware that I need to make more of an effort with many of them. I'm also aware, that sometimes I will fail at this too (as was the case with Lisa) and that sometimes this may mean the end of a friendship (definitely and thankfully not the case with Lisa) . I'm confident however that my friendships without expectations will be the ones that continue regardless, as these are the ones where both parties have come to realise that the friendship is a gift, not an obligation!

And when all is said and done, before we can truly be great friends with others, we need to be great friends with ourselves, accepting all our own faults, so we can accept those in others.

Not ready for Lisa to go!

I met Lisa through Sylvia. We were at ScrapCamp and Lisa came up to visit Sylvia. Then Lisa started coming to ScrapCamp and we all (the regulars at ScrapCamp) came to love her. Early on, during one camp, I was talking about Jayden being ADHD and the things he did and Lisa commented how she could almost use the same text and just insert her daughter's name. She met Jayden and then everything seemed to fit. We talked about the steps I went through with Jayden in finding out what was going on with him and sent her some emails on what we had gone through, from the school, other parents and how we dealt with things at home. Her daughter was diagnosed shortly thereafter with ADHD.

I joked that we should get the two of them together for a play date, just to see what would happen!!! I had also decided that I wanted to further develop the friendship outside of scrapbooking and had some grand plans to start getting together for coffee once a month or so. Weeks went by and another camp was upon us, still having not met for coffee. We did manage to get both our families along to see Ashley's band Reverence play at their re-launch party at Jayce's place, but that was probably down to good luck rather than good management. So, another ScrapCamp came along and we still hadn't gotten together for that coffee. So many things kept coming up for me and so I'd put off making a date until the next week and so it went on. Lisa didn't make the last ScrapCamp and she was certainly missed. Then she announced she was moving overseas. I felt pangs of sadness and regret. Suddenly that coffee was a now or never situation! How did this happen? I guess in the back of my mind I had the thought, well there's always tomorrow, or next week. Really though, you never do know what is just around the corner.

I thought back to a poem about friendship, called Reason, Season, Lifetime. I remembered most of it's content was pretty spot on. I looked it up on the web and located it here: http://www.yuni.com/library/docs/631.html and had another read through. At the beginning I was thinking hey, my reason is not fulfilled, I'm not ready for her to go. Then I thought oh, maybe it was her reason that has been fulfilled. I then realised that I was reacting emotionally and perhaps being a little short sighted and that in actual fact, she may well be one of the Lifetime friends, we just don't know that yet. Do we ever really know?

Well we finally got together for that coffee 2 weeks ago and it was good. I learned that she most definitely plans to be back in NZ in April 2010 for ScrapCamp. I'll be hanging out for that, because I just thoroughly enjoy being around Lisa. She is just who she is, no matter what. If your cup of joy is getting low, Lisa's the one that can help you top it up.

So I'm still sad she is leaving, but knowing she'll be back soon and knowing how quickly time flies, it'll be April 2010 before I know it and we will again have loads of laughs, so no more regret, just looking forward to the fun times to come.

Baking for the 1st time

We recently had a Korean home stay student for 5 weeks. During this time we went out shopping, to Motat, Timezone etc, but I think the most fun she had might have been baking. We made cookies - Gingerbread Men actually. She advised she had never baked before. She had fun rolling out the dough and cutting it with the cookie cutters. She loved icing them and certainly enjoyed eating them as well! She asked if we could do it again and so we made some more the following weekend. My mum went out and bought her a cookie cutting set as a gift to take home, although from what she said, not sure her mum will be too keen on her making them at home. She said her mum usually doesn't let her help, let alone be loose in the kitchen.

I loved her help. My kids sat by whilst she would help unpack the groceries, she always asked if she could help and readily tried her hand at anything and everything. She didn't like everything, but at least tried most things.